We just returned from a family getaway to Disney World.  Not just any family getaway, but a very special occasion—my wife’s XXth birthday (actual digits omitted since I have solemnly sworn to never say that number out loud).  And while we had a great time in the Disney parks, the real highlight of this trip was the hotel.  We stayed at the Hilton Bonnet Creek, a new, upscale resort within the confines of the Disney property, not far from the Hollywood Studios (what they used to call the Disney-MGM Studios…musta been some kinda spat with MGM). 

Specifically, the one lifetime memory we will always relish from this once-in-a-lifetime occasion was not just the hotel, but the rooms themselves.  That’s right, rooms.  Plural. Although there are only three of us (myself, my wife and our 16-year old son) we were booked into two adjoining rooms…Rooms 1739 and 1745.  Room 1739 is a lovely (but standard) double room.  Room 1745 on the other hand…is The Presidential Suite.

Happy birthday, honey…from Hilton Hotels and your Diamond VIP husband.

The three of us spent four nights in a mile-long suite that you’d probably picture Michael Jordan or Paris Hilton staying in.  A room with three bathrooms, three flat-screens, five thermostats and six big picture windows overlooking the pool complex and golf course.

That’s what status will get ya. 

Believe me, as a family we’re not exactly Presidential Suite material.  Don’t get me wrong, we’re not the Clampetts, but we’re certainly not the Obamas, either.  But after a few years of loyalty to HHonors, we are occasionally treated to the ultimate in luxury and style.  And, in the ultimate of irony, it’s all on the house.

I wanna share a few VIP secrets with you here in the hope that some day, all this will be yours (what, the curtains?). My strong advice: Build your travel planning strategy around gaining status.  It really does matter. 

Here are five reasons why becoming a status-seeker makes total sense:

5. It’s a shame (almost a sin) to leave money on the table.
Four years ago when I started my current job and knew I’d be doing a lot of traveling, I committed the better part of a whole day to signing up for every airline, hotel, car rental and credit card rewards program there is.  All of ‘em. I made a promise to myself that from that point forward I was gonna take advantage of every point, perk and edge I could get.

But here’s the thing…like in “The Rookie,” when a guy suddenly realizes well into his 30’s that he can throw a 95mph fastball, he knows he’s wasted a lot of earning potential. 

Now that I finally get how rewarding status is, I can’t believe how stooopid I was to fail to cash in on all those points I should have been earning previously. I mean, I’ve been traveling my entire life.  And before my status epiphany, my lifetime redemption of bonus miles/room nights/loyalty points was a big fat zilch-o.  In recapping my lifetime travel itinerary, I’ve probably left a “first-class around-the-world trip for two” unclaimed.  Sad. 

Don’t do the same.  Take what’s yours.  The time required to sign up online for the average loyalty program is less than what it’s taking you to read this dopey blog posting.  An’ I ain’t givin’ y’all nothin’ (unless you count apostrophes).

When you look out any of the six picture windows in the Presidential Suite, you get this panoramic view of the resort that others are paying SO much to enjoy.

4. Your loyalty has tangible value.
If you take two or three trips a year, or if (like me) you take 30-40 trips a year, do whatever you have to do to keep using the same airline and the same hotel brand as frequently as possible.  Don’t flit from one chain to the next—your strategy should be to pick and stick.

Here’s the thing—when you travel for business, your company prefers it that way.  Most companies have what are called back-end deals with various airlines and hotel chains. If their employees rack up a certain threshold of business over the course of the year, the company gets some kind of incentive.  This isn’t just a win/win, it’s a win/win/win.  The company saves money on its travel budget, the airline gets a steady stream of business, and we worker bees get status that translates into free travel, upgrades and the occasional family retreat in the Presidential Suite. 

You might be amazed at what kinds of things can happen just because you signed up.  Even on your second or third trip, you might luck into an upgraded room, a free breakfast, or a “manager’s reception” (translation: free booze) just by giving the impression that you might become loyal over time.  Don’t ever hesitate to tell every desk clerk, reservations agent or assistant-to-the-regional-manager that you’re a card-carrying “Honors Rewards Club Plus” member.  Adopt just an ever-so-slight attitude of entitlement, and you can often bluff your way past at least the first velvet rope on your way to VIPville.

3. Travel is always a bit of a gamble, but status rigs the game in your favor.
If you’ve read any of my previous posts, you may recall that I love Vegas and casinos and gambling. But I know that every time I walk into a casino I am clearly the underdog.  That’s the way the house likes it.  And, of course, the house was built by…the house. 

Every time I walk through the automatic doors of the main terminal at IAD to begin another journey, I also know I’m entering a sort of “travel casino.” Things may go my way…or not.  Perhaps everything runs on-time-14, or perhaps my flight will be canceled and I’ll be scrambling before I even break free of Dulles airspace.  I might be getting upgraded to first class and dine on coq a vin, or I may end up shoehorned into a middle seat between those two fatso twins from the Guinness Book of World Records.  Maybe the hotel I booked will be as decent as it looked in the pictures, or perhaps in real life it’s a hole de’ shitte.  It’s always a bit of a gamble.

That’s where status comes in.  When you’ve reached the highest level of VIP status at whatever hotel chain you’re staying with, or whatever airline you’re flying…the odds shift dramatically. 

[LAWYER’S NOTE: There are no guarantees, nothing is ever absolutely certain, your results may vary, you may experience some side effects, including dizziness, dry mouth and tarry stools.]  But when you have status, the percentage of trips during which things go remarkably well increases exponentially.

The master bedroom of Room 1745.  The adjoining master bath has more marble than Caesars’ Palace.

2. It gets better, faster and easier as you go.
Here’s the secret you will eventually figure out—rising to the top of the status pile is so not fair.  As is the case with any third-world junta, the laws of the land are written to benefit those who are already benefitting. 

Virtually every airline, hotel and car rental program is built along the same philosophy—the more points/miles you earn, the higher percentage of extra bonus points you get piled on top.  For example, once you become a 1K on United Airlines (1K’s are customers who fly over 100,000 miles a year…which makes no sense, right…shouldn’t it be 100K?) you earn one bonus mile for every mile you fly.  So, a round-trip from IAD to Australia (about 19,000 flying miles) counts for almost 40,000 frequent flyer miles—which is well more than you need for a free trip anywhere in the continental US. 

You take one trip, they double the miles, you get one trip for free.  And the rich get richer.

BTW—make sure you keep an eagle-eye out for every additional bonus, perk and extra they offer.  Just about every airline and hotel program offers special incentives during their slowest periods (Jan 5th-March 15th for example, or the notoriously slow period between the week after Thanksgiving and the week before Christmas) as company executives panic over crappy low-occupancy projections.  Their panic equals your opportunity.  Read those emails they send you—they typically require that you register in advance for whatever promotion they’re hawking.  I sign up for all of them.  Even the ones I have no intention of participating in. Only good things can happen.

Two true stories:  1) I was checking my HHonors account back in December and saw that I received a 20,000-point bonus for staying in the same London hotel three times during the course of the 2009.  Did I even sign up for that one?  I have no memory of that. But if they offered it, I musta signed up. 

2) Last month I received an email from the GM at the Hilton Atlanta Airport thanking me for my recent three-night stay, and crediting my Diamond VIP account with an additional 10,000 bonus points just for being such a loyal customer.  Wow!  That was so nice of him.  I’ll have to thank him personally the next time I visit there.  Or (should I say) the first time…since I’ve never been in that hotel in my life, and haven’t even been in Atlanta since September of ‘08.  But Hilton is a huge corporation, and I’m just some schmoe…so…if they say I have, then who’s to argue?

I never stayed in a hotel room with an entry foyer.  Excuse me…foy-YEA.

1. It’s one of the best gifts you can ever give.
Having to travel a lot for business is as double-edged as swords get.  On one hand, it’s a rush to trot the globe—often enjoying the trappings of free, upgraded first-class luxury.  On the other hand, you end up spending a lot of time away from home and family.  Nothing takes the bubbles out of a glass of Dom faster than knowing you’re missing your kid’s playoff game. 

But status provides you with gifts that are meant to be shared.  The vacations, the weekend getaways, the “let’s go visit Nana and Grandpop” trips that you might think twice about if you had to pay with your own cash, become absolute no-brainers when they’re free.

No question hun, I would love to offer you a gift of four nights in the Presidential Suite for your (insert fake coughing sound)-th birthday.  But the “back of the door” rate for that room is $15,000 per night.  That’s a grand total of $60,000.  Our three cars didn’t cost that much.  So, if I’m paying with our own scratch, it’s probably gonna have to be Motel 6.  But if we’re paying with status, then you shall have Motel 60,000 as you richly deserve. 

It’s the least I can give you in exchange for all those nights I had to spend in Atlanta.

How about you?  Ever get anything cool for free as a result of your loyalty/status?