If there’s a better sandwich in the world, I’ve never had it.

Pat’s evil across-the-street neighbor Geno’s tries to lure you in with its neon flashiness. Don’t fall for it.

3. Cheez Whiz.  You heard me, Cheez Whiz.
Cheese.  Steak.  When a food item’s first name is cheese, it’s fair to ask, “What kind of cheese?”  If this truly is the greatest sandwich in the world, rising to the level of culinary royalty, you’d probably think they’d use some finely-aged gruyere, or some secret blend of rugged cheddars turned out by the Amish and delivered in buggies.

But the classic Pat’s cheesesteak is slathered with…Cheez Whiz.  The slathering is done with a wooden implement that is closest to a paint-stirrer (I could swear I saw the name Benjamin Moore peeking through the orange glop one time).  And, regardless of how any of that sounds…it’s so damned good you can only wish that they’d fill a kiddie pool with the stuff so you could dive in head first.

It ain’t easy to be royalty.  But Pat’s is king.

2. The Liberty Bell is way lamer than you’d ever imagine.
Anyone planning a Philly itinerary would most certainly want to include the city’s other (admittedly more obvious) icon.  You probably wouldn’t even think of visiting here without seeing this striking symbol of freedom, national heritage, and all that’s great about our country.  Well…think. 

Two trips to Philadelphia ago, my son and I walked across Independence Mall—eagerly anticipating our face-to-face encounter with arguably the single most historic thing that’s ever been fashioned out of metal (second perhaps only to the teeth on that guy “Jaws” in that James Bond movie). 

Quick question for all those who have never seen the Liberty Bell in person (don’t shout out if you HAVE seen it)...how big do you think it is?  30 feet tall?  50?  I’ll tell ya—it’s just a tad bigger than the bell sitting on the check-in desk at the Bates Motel. OK, maybe it’s actually five or six feet tall.  But you will definitely leave there with a distinct “...really?  That’s it?” feeling.  Thank God you’re only a short drive away from Passyunk Avenue, where you can salvage the rest of your day.

See ‘dese guys?  They might not look it, but they run the most efficient food service operation you’ll ever experience.  I’m not sure I’d wanna have them performing open-heart surgery on me, but I don’t mind them giving me a reason to have open-heart surgery.

1. There’s no better service at any restaurant in the world.
When it comes to crowd-control, I love efficiency.  I love a line that moves really fast.  I love “...step up, here ya go, and step aside.”  That’s what you’ll get at Pat’s. 

There are times when the line goes around the block.  But don’t confuse line length with length-of-wait.  The guys who run Pat’s (and it’s always guys, I’ve never seen a woman behind the steaming grill, ever) give off a distinct “Soup Nazi” vibe.  In fact, there’s a sign above the ordering window with step-by-step instructions.  The last one is a classic,  “If you make a mistake, don’t panic—just go to the back of the line and start over.” 

This is serious business.  There’s no messing around.  You’re about to eat the king of steaks.  And 12 seconds after the words come out of your mouth, the grease and cheez will be dribbling down the corners of your mouth.

And, then…you will know how an icon tastes.

What about you?  What’s your favorite “iconic” food or restaurant?