Some years, you just luck out. You meet your child’s teacher and you think, ”wow, this is going to be great.”

And some years, you don’t.

Let me first say that this column is by no means autobiographical. So far I’ve been one of the lucky ones and I’ve thoroughly liked and respected all of my daughter’s teachers. But the stories are out there about parents and teachers who are like oil and water.

If you find yourself in a difficult relationship with your child’s teacher, here are some tips to make the best of the situation. Maybe you won’t be inviting them over to dinner, but you can make sure your child is getting the best education possible.

Is it personal or professional?

No one is going to like everyone— and those that try end up miserable. There are people who you just aren’t going to like, and some of them might be teachers. Even if you don’t like them personally or they just rub you the wrong way, don’t take those personal feelings into the classroom. Instead, look at how the teacher conducts her class. Is your child learning, and how does your child respond to his teaching methods? You may not want to be “BFFs” with the teacher, but you can respect and admire the work they do.

Avoid the “special snowflake” trap.

Let me just openly state that there is no child in the world as wonderful and amazing as my daughter. And no child is as wonderful and amazing as yours — to you. That’s part of our job as parents: to think that our kids are the best thing since sliced bread. And really how great is sliced bread anyway? But don’t let this blind you to constructive criticism, suggestions , or disciplinary actions provided by your child’s teacher. The fact is even our perfect angels tip a halo now and then. Given the time your child spends at school, chances are your child’s teacher will be one of the first to catch our angels in a devilish act. As hard as it is to hear negative, or even not so positive things about our kids, don’t blame the messenger and ruin a productive relationship with the teacher. Making your child into a “special snowflake” won’t help your child’s teacher or your child get the most out of the school day.

Don’t put your kid in the middle.

OK, so you don’t like the teacher. Your child should never know this. Even if you don’t like the person, don’t agree with the homework, don’t understand the test questions, keep these remarks and opinions out of earshot of your child. You may be on equal footing with your child’s teacher, but your kid isn’t. In the classroom, that teacher deserves your child’s respect, and if you undermine this authority at home, dollars will get you donuts that your child is disrespecting his teacher in the classroom. Keep all conversations, whether emails, phone calls, or conferences, private and between you and the teacher.

Work together.

Sometimes, it may be best to go to the source, and you may need a face-to-face discussion with the teacher to sort out an issue. No matter how upset you might be, maintain a respectful and cooperative attitude when talking to the teacher. Try not to come in with a list of accusations, but be sure to ask all the questions you need answered.

Ask for help.

However, sometimes there’s a situation that can’t be solved between just two people. If the situation is not improving and you’re not feeling heard, there are people in the school system to help. You can talk to a parent liaison, a guidance counselor, or a member of the administrative staff. It’s important to always keep in mind that I have yet to meet a teacher, principal, or education professional that doesn’t want every child to succeed, from the trouble makers to the goody-two-shoes. A third-party can help provide clarity, explain procedures, and open communication paths. They can also help to create a solution that makes your child and you happy.

Your child’s teacher is a big part of your child’s life, and, by the same token, yours. This relationship is one you should try your best to make work effectively and peacefully for the sake of your kid. Like any relationship, it’s going to take work and understanding. Just have plenty of both on hand.

It used to be that my least favorite person to buy a gift for was my dad. He’s notoriously impossible to shop for — his needs are few, his wants even fewer, and his penchant for just going out and buying whatever he decides he really does want is immense. This was before I had a child. Now, my least favorite gift to find is for her teacher.

The fact is that although your child spends an awful lot of time with her teacher, you do not. Honestly, I don’t know my daughter’s teacher’s eye color. I respect this teacher immensely, think the world of her abilities, and can’t imagine a better person to guide my daughter’s learning during the day. Still, I can’t tell you her favorite color, what music she likes, or all those things you hope to know about someone before finding them a holiday gift. When my daughter first started school, and I realized I should probably give her teacher a gift, I decided to poll some teacher friends about what they liked and what they didn’t like. I’ve come up with some good solid rules that help me tackle this gift that should be given.

Put down the apples.

Yes, we get it. It’s an apple for a teacher. But you know who also gets it, and has gotten it year after year, and probably from the day he announced his intention to become a teacher? Your child’s teacher. Every teacher I know has a closet full of apple-themed gifts, from mugs to picture frames. I know your intentions are good, and the stores are constantly pushing even more apples with “#1 teacher” on them, but leave them on the shelf. Chances are not everyone giving teacher gifts will read this advice and many won’t take it, so I’m betting even if you don’t succumb to apple-mania, some child’s parent will. So it’s not like your favorite teacher will go without.

This goes for pencils, too.

In fact, have the apple rule go for all “teacher” gifts. Pencils, pens, desk, anything that screams “This was specifically made to be given as a teacher gift by a student.”

Make a clean getaway.

My mom always told me to never give gifts that have to be displayed, unless you know the person exceptionally well. The fact is most of us just don’t know our kids’ teachers well enough to pick out their home decor. Some good presents are no further than your local bath shop. Fine soaps, bath beads, or nice hand lotions are a great gift that no one has to hang up on the wall. You can also check out Etsy.com   for hand-crafted items that are a little off-beat and fun, such as soap shaped as desserts or even Legos.

Give the gift of yum.

If the teacher has a sweet tooth, this is a great time to give chocolates, cookies, and holiday candies. And you can always think beyond sweets toward fruit baskets, jams, and other food gifts. If your teacher needs a jolt in the morning (and I can’t think of anyone who has to get up as early as they do who wouldn’t), put together a gift of a French press coffee maker and some really good coffee beans.

Warm them up.

Each cold morning, when I drop my daughter off at school, I see teachers shivering as they greet the students. Scarves, warm mittens, and other cozy gifts can’t come at a more perfect time, as the cold weather is just getting started. Stay away from items that contain common allergens like mohair and angora unless you know the recipient is not allergic.

It’s in the cards.

Sometimes, nothing really feels right, and this is when it’s time to turn to your gift card. You can give gift cards to pretty much anything, from Starbucks to your neighborhood movie theatre. I have yet to meet a teacher that doesn’t love an all expense paid trip to the bookstore.

Giving a gift to someone as important to your child as their teacher shouldn’t be hard, but it is. However, beyond all of these ideas, the most important gift you’ll give is the recognition and gratitude you express to the person who is helping you raise a well-rounded and educated child. Make sure that you include a note of thanks in whatever gift you give. Chances are those words will mean more to that teacher than whatever you put in the box. Unless it’s really good chocolate.

Many of us spend the holidays in dread of traffic, terrified of the inevitable (and inexplicable) Interstate 95 back-up, and concerned about how we will maintain our lovely holiday spirit after spending hours in a car with our offspring.

But then, there are the holidays you stay home and the family comes to you. And some of those guests may be young children. If you’re expecting kids to visit, here are some tips to make it enjoyable for everyone.

Allow your child some space.

If you’re having to house multiple people, you may be looking at your child’s room as an extra place to stuff a bed. Try to include your child in the thought process as much as possible. Give him the choice of roommate(s), and allow him to select some toys and items that don’t have to be shared, even if that means putting them away during the visit.

Plan, plan and plan again.

With kids coming into town, you’re going to be more challenged than ever to find things to keep your family and your guests entertained. And speaking from experience, few children are satisfied with watching football all Thanksgiving — much to my disappointment, especially since the Lions are actually pretty good this year.

Make sure to have some plans in place for sightseeing and activities. We’re extremely fortunate to have plenty in this area that most kids will enjoy, including my favorite, the Natural History Museum. Remember some historical places, such as the Capitol or the White House, need reservations some times months in advance. Also, those admission fees can quickly add up, so try to mix in some free activities to keep the costs down. It’s always a good idea to plan out an itinerary when trying to hit multiple sites in a day, but be prepared for events to run long or kids to tire out.

Include some free time.

When you’re planning a visit, it’s so tempting to schedule every minute to avoid anyone getting bored. But don’t be afraid to build in some free time so children can just play, hang out, or crash in front of the television. You may think they aren’t getting a lot of bang for their visiting buck, but everyone (even children) needs “downtime” to let themselves recharge.

Have some meals at home.

Feeding a mob scene? Not every meal has to be out. You’ll not only get tired of making reservations for 12, but your wallet might sprain something. Look for entrées that you can prepare ahead of time and put in the freezer. Lasagna is always a good bet. Stock up on cereals and cold cuts for easy, no-cook breakfasts and lunches. Have disposable plates and plastic utensils ready to go to minimize clean up. And no kid I know turns up their nose at delivery pizza, so have that number at the ready.

Include some traditions from your visitors.

Kids have special holiday memories, and each family has their own traditions. Whether it’s leaving out cookies for Santa or always having sweet potato pie, plan ahead to include one or two of those traditions in your own holiday celebration, even if they aren’t your own (if it was up to me, gravy would never touch my table). Your young guests will feel more at home and included.

Keep some family time just family.

With a bunch of people in the house, you may have trouble finding some “family time.” And it’s not just you that needs it. Kids, even when they are surrounded by cousins, need time with you when you’re not paying attention to everything and everyone else.

When we have house guests, we have reading time just for us. We pile up on our bed (cats included) and pull out a book (or books). It gives all of us a bit of a break and allows my husband and I to catch up on the day’s events.

After your guests leave, plan some just-us time with your kids before heading back to your regular schedule. Whether it’s a movie or playtime at the park, they may be as tired as you are and need some readjustment time.

But when the last child has gone to sleep in their own bed and you’ve cleaned up the last mess, you have my permission to collapse — at least until next year.