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Capital Hospice steps into the workplace
Schools have grief counselors to help students deal with the unexpected, often violent deaths of their classmates and teachers.Soldiers returning from war zones have debriefings and places to go when the symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome appear.
Emergency personnel retain counselors and chaplains to help responders deal with the tragedies inherent in the job.
Most people are aware of these avenues of solace. What many people are not aware of is that Capital Hospice has established a program that will help co-workers deal with the loss of a team member. While this situation arises in the workplace with great frequency, it has not received the same media attention as the schools, military and rescue personnel
Wendy Maiwurm, a Capital Hospice grief counselor based in the agency's main office in Falls Church, outlined how Capital Hospice can help people come to terms with this particular loss.
"We’re there to supply grief support. Sometimes we ... set up in a quiet place and offer one-on-one counseling. Other times, we ... meet with a small group and give a talk on grief and loss and open it up to have them talk. There’s a lot of healing in talking about the person who died and remembering significant things about that person," Maiwurm said.
Requests for support usually come from managers or bosses, but anyone can request help from Capital Hospice.
"You may have spent many hours or years with this person and they are a lot closer to you than others. ... They could be partners, a pair in your work, and there is a real loss for the partner left behind," Maiwurm said.
Maiwurm said that time has proven that the accepted stages of grief do not necessarily occur in an orderly or predictable way.
"We provide education about the common symptoms or reactions with grief so people ... can identify it," Maiwurm explained.
Among the symptoms are forgetfulness, difficulty in concentrating, inability to focus well, memory loss.
The situation, she emphasized, crosses all lines, hitting as hard in a white-collar situation as it does in blue-collar.
Capital Hospice also teaches how to help a co-worker who has lost a spouse or a child.
"It's important for co-workers to be supportive of each other when they’ve lost somebody." Maiwurm said.
Jamie Kent, a community grief counselor for Capital Hospice in its Leesburg office, explains.
"Whenever you're responding to a loss, the first thing is to check in with yourself and sort through your own feelings, especially with the loss of a co-worker because that’s going to affect you directly. There are various attitudes towards death. The first step is to know what feels comfortable within yourself. Get a handle on your own emotions," Kent said.
Kent also emphasized that no two people, even in the same workplace, will grieve for the loss of a co-worker in the same way.
"Grief is a very individual kind of thing. There are different stages. Different emotions come up. For you to help someone who is grieving, the most important thing is to respond to them openly and naturally and be available to them. Sometimes it’s more important to listen than to talk. And it’s important to give them space," Kent said.
Sometimes saying nothing at all is the best way to help.
"Once you say that you're sorry, there's not much more that you can say," Kent said.
Capital Hospice, Kent said, also does in-service presentations with people who work in facilities such as nursing homes or assisted living situations.
"These are people who suffer multiple losses, and it can be difficult for them. We try to create a little ritual that allows them to talk about their own responses and recognize grief. ... It’s a hard job. [We] do get very attached to the residents. And when it becomes part of the job it’s like the cobbler's children, you forget to take care of yourself," Kent said.
Contact the reporter at ecarlton@timespapers.com
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